BAD NEWS COMES IN THREES

When the skipper turned up to the Ground, he looked for his weapon of mass destruction (at one time) in his stick bag but like Iraq it wasn't there. He had forgot to put it back in his stick bag after playing with the pups the previous day. He then proceeded down to the pitch with two other players only to be told we were playing at higher altitude on the top pitch. The team sheet didn't show any recognisable keeper. With the Euan Mackay not allowed to play in goal on the fourths we had to twist Harks arm to play in goal. Gear had to be obtained from the clubhouse in dribs and drabs. With the last leg guard arriving before kick-off. Not an ideal start.

The word on the street was that we had received a walk-over after Mullingar weren't able to field a team for the original date of this fixture. But then suddenly the fixture appears in the fixture list. What happened there? When you play a team on a Sunday you are always liable to get players playing down from a higher team and I suspect Gar had one or two. When you play on the top pitch it is like an away fixture for both teams and Gar I think beat us last year in the cup on the same pitch. Ed Bourke was supposed to be playing but we heard he was injured so with no umpire appointed and we having to umpire ourselves our squad of 14 was reduced to 12. The omens were not good.

The skipper won the toss and decided to play uphill. The first quarter was nip and took and it was even Steven with both teams sizing each other up. Le Chien borrowed Victor O'Shea's 2nd stick which was shaped like a 90-degree angle suitable for slappers and not ancient upright hitters hence a lot of strikes were going left or aerial. A bad craftsman blames his tools. End of first quarter 0-0.

Then half way through the 2nd quarter Gar struck and with another just on the stroke of half time in the last minute this was psychological blow. 0-2 Half time.

Playing down the hill the 2nd half the reds thought they would come into their own but the Midlanders struck again. End of third quarter 0-3.

At the start of the fourth quarter Dara Crowe scrambled one back which gave CHC hope. But when the opposition have a shot at goal which is heading towards the corner flag and hits Lawrence Dallaglio on the foot you know it's not your day. A little chuckle was had by all. The resulting drag flick from the corner was a worldy roofed in the top corner between the upright and the crossbar. No keeper at any level would have stopped it, a brilliant goal. Billy O'Riordan, who went to the Ray O'Connor School of umpiring had taken over from Hugh St Leger who had umpired the first 3 quarters (well done Hugh). He was not taking any shyte from the Bossman and after moving a free forward 20 yards (in old money) he gave him a rest on the splinters for giving the clap. With the Superagers tiring and yours truly hitting to the oppo forward. Harks was chipped aka Paddy Cullen for a tidy tap in. Mea Culpa. So, 1-5 Full Time.

This was one of our worst performances in a long time. I blame the skipper. There was no bite and the proverbial for a cup match and too many times we stood off players and didn't press hard. Thanks to our supporters Beachcomber Davy Stevenson and Deidre Mackay. Sorry folks this was 80 minutes of your life you won't get back.

A performance as flat as a pancake appropriate for the day that is in it.

And the all went home with their tails between their legs and lay down in a quiet corner in a darkened room and gave a little whine.